Kenya? Well, I can't.

I'm so sad. I had my heart set on going to Kenya for field camp. My boss finally gave me an answer and it was no. It's stupid. They flew one guy to Chicago every single week for however long so he could get his masters degrees. They fly people to northern Idaho (NOT CHEAP!) every weekend for two years at a time to get their degrees. They paid a guy to live in Missouri for a year while he finished. Not only tuition, but living expenses and salaries for these guys. I'm quite certain they spent well over $8000 on those guys. The list goes on and on for examples like this. Maybe I'm the wrong gender to get those kinds of benefits. Anyway. ON the upside, instead I get to spend 6 weeks in Mackay, Idaho, instead. It's a complete let down, but I'm sure it will be great. And if all this wasn't bad enough, the fates are rubbing it in! 4 articles in today's scientist e-newsletters have something to do with...you guessed it. Kenya and Africa. I don't hear anything about Africa...in the news or anything...and suddenly, today, it's Africa, Africa. Africa (One related to Kenya, the other 3 in African countries/areas bordering or near Kenya).

I've lost 5 pounds as of today. yay. I really don't care. Maybe I do. Just a little. And I get to go see a presentation on the exciting advances in science and the unusual physical properties of carbon nanostructures. So, there's something good about today... aside from being alive and all.

I hate food. Ok. I hate dieting.

Yes, there's a reason it's a DIEt. I am two days into it, and I am grumpy, hateful, jealous, mean and most of all... HUNGRY!  I hate HCG. I'd almost rather do Atkins, because at least on that I can eat until I'm full. But with HCG, I won't (or shouldn't) get wrinkles as I get skinny. I've seen people lose 60 lb with this and look YOUNGER coming out of it, and I am really that vain. I guess if I were that vain, I wouldn't have gotten to be this size to begin with. Gorge days are GREAT! Who wouldn't love eating party pizzas, bugles, Snake River Burger-Black and Blue, waffle fries, and pasta salad all day? Yesterday was my first day of 500 calories. I probably had less just because I was mad. I had a handful of snow peas (probably not on the list), and half a can of stupid chicken. I also took a bite of sloppy joes with cheddar cheese. I LOOOOOVE that stuff. No one was looking, so it doesn't count, right?  Caleb was sooo mean yesterday! He got a plate of pasta salad and kept making 'mmmm' noises while he was eating it. I wanted to smash that plate in his face. See how mean I get when I don't get food? Today, so far, I've had....a plum. In 5.5 hours of being awake, that's all I've eaten. I'm really hateful and mad right now. I also left my stupid drops in the car. And the elevator is broken. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't hurt my ankle at girls camp. I have to run errands anyway. I sure hope the bank teller isn't stupid. I have a low tolerance for things I deem illogical anyway, but now I'm hungry and in an even worse mood!  This poor guy at work, he built this form and it doesn't work like the instructions say it should. I called him and told him that the form was frustrating and was making me madder with every wrong instruction I saw. I did finally tell him that it wasn't his, or his forms, fault, it was because I am mad because I'm dieting. He was nice and understood, but he still has a stupid form. I'm going to stop venting now. I did drop 5 pounds already by this morning. I didn't get on the scale yesterday, because I was too mad. But, 5 pounds in 2 days is pretty exciting, even if it is just water or something. Can't wait to see what it says tomorrow.

So, my goal is to be Marissa's size so I can wear all of her cute clothes, but don't tell her that. She forbade me to wear her clothes when I get skinny. I can't wait to show up to see my darling daughter wearing HER sparkly-butt jeans and one of her tight Aero t-shirts.